Drunks, Kids and Yoga Pants Always Tell the Truth “I think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a GYou Don’t Have to be Lonely” I If you ever fee think the worst time to have a heart attack is during a game of charades If you ever feel bad about your life just go to WalmartWhat What is a Shih Tzu? … A zoo with no animals. I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don’t know the answer If you’re not supposed to eat at night, why is there a light in the refrigerator? Look at those Melons! I’m confused … IDK if I lost my horse or found a rope! If ignorance is bliss, why is the world a happier place? Don’t eat too much Cake … Gotta save room for Ice Cream I’d never go to someone’s funeral after they didn’t come to mine Eleventeen percent of people make up words I never drink, I just disinfect internal injuries Half of a large intestine equals a semicolon Married men live longer than single men, but they’re alot more willing to die Support your local search and rescue unit. Get Lost! I have a strong will but a weak won’t Therapy helps but screaming obscenities is cheaper Turkey and Undressing Wanna be thinner? … Eat less dinner! I’ve got more gas the Exxon Grandma said the best place to go when you are broke is to work!